Living with roommates can be a lot of fun, especially when everyone gets along and you can share responsibilities. But what happens when your roommates don’t share your standards of cleanliness? Whether it’s dishes piling up in the sink, clothes scattered in the living room, or a bathroom that seems permanently dirty, dealing with messy roommates can quickly become frustrating. Here’s how to keep the peace (as well as the cleanliness) in your shared home.
Before You Start: Know When It’s Time to Move On
Before you get started, think about whether the situation is salvageable. A lack of cleanliness might be at the end of a long list of issues you have with your roommate. If your mental health is taking a hit, and you no longer feel comfortable and happy at home, it might be time to consider a new living arrangement.
How to Find a Better Living Situation
Finding the right roommate makes all the difference. If you’re thinking of making a change, check out www.spareroom.com for new rooms to rent. Every 3 minutes, someone finds a roommate on SpareRoom, making it easier than ever to find your perfect match.
SpareRoom puts safety first, with a dedicated team of moderators checking ads and content seven days a week. You can search based on what matters to you, whether that’s cleanliness habits or social preferences, to ensure you end up in a home that suits your lifestyle.
Don’t settle for chaos. With tools like SpareRoom, you can find a roommate who shares your values and helps you maintain a tidy, happy home.
But if you’re determined to fix things with your roommates, keep reading.
Tips for Dealing With Messy Roommates
Start By Communicating
The first step to a cleaner house is talking about the issue with your roommates. It might feel uncomfortable, but a polite and direct conversation can go a long way in helping them understand your feelings. Choose a neutral time when no one is already upset, and avoid blaming or finger-pointing. Instead, use “I” statements. For example:
- Go with things like, “I feel stressed when the kitchen stays dirty”
- Avoid saying things like, “You never clean up.”
It’s also a good idea to understand if your roommates even realize there’s an issue. Some people genuinely don’t see mess the same way others do. Understanding where they’re coming from can make the conversation go much more smoothly.
Set Clear Expectations
After you’ve talked about the issue, work together to set expectations for cleanliness. This doesn’t mean creating a rigid set of rules, but rather aligning on basic standards everyone can agree on.
Consider writing down who is responsible for what. This could include:
- Washing dishes within 24 hours
- Taking turns taking out the trash
- Weekly vacuuming and bathroom cleaning
Use a whiteboard or a shared app to keep track of household chores, so there’s no confusion about who’s supposed to do what.
Create a Cleaning Schedule
If the messiness in your home is becoming a constant issue, a cleaning schedule can help. Divide chores evenly and rotate them weekly or bi-weekly to keep things fair. It can also help to clean the house together. For example, set a time every Sunday afternoon to tackle common areas together. Play music, put on a TV show, or just chat. This will turn an annoying task into something more social.
Only Focus on Shared Spaces
Your roommate’s bedroom might not be your business, but the kitchen, bathroom, and living room are everyone’s responsibility. Make a clear agreement that shared spaces should be kept tidy.
Simple rules can include:
- No leaving personal items in shared spaces
- Cleaning up after meals
- Keeping bathroom supplies stocked and surfaces wiped down
Setting these expectations early on can prevent resentment from building up and exploding later down the line.
Lead by Example
You might not be able to change your roommate’s habits overnight, but leading by example can sometimes encourage better behavior. Keep your personal space neat and be consistent with your cleaning tasks. When your roommates see that you’re putting in the effort, they might feel more compelled to follow your lead.
Offer Solutions, Not Ultimatums
If the situation doesn’t improve, try offering solutions that will make cleaning easier for everyone. If everyone’s busy, maybe the household could pitch in for a cleaner once a month. Or if old cleaning supplies and equipment are the issues, invest in a better vacuum. Small improvements can reduce tension and help keep things manageable.
Avoid issuing ultimatums unless you’re truly at the end of your rope. They rarely help and can damage the relationships you have with your roommates.
Final Thoughts
Living with messy roommates isn’t always easy, but with honest communication, shared responsibility, and a bit of patience, you can improve your home life. And if it doesn’t work out, there are better options out there – ones where cleanliness and respect go hand in hand. A clean home isn’t just about tidiness. It’s about comfort, mental clarity, and the peace of feeling truly at home.
